Relationships

How Distance Redefines Relationships

On one hand, “absence makes the heart grow fonder” but on the other hand, “out of sight, out of mind”. I constantly go back and forth between which one I believe more.

I just recently moved back home after living in Florida for two years. Those two years showed me who really matters in my life and the importance of showing how much you care no matter the distance. Long distance relationships require more work but if you really care about the person then it shouldn’t matter. To keep our friendship strong, one friend and I started sending written letters and cards. Another friend of mine made a schedule and we had weekly conference calls to keep updated on each other’s lives. These commitments were necessary to keep our friendships thriving but not everyone can handle the stress of a long distance relationship.

A couple of months after moving to FL, I noticed a strain on some relationships while others were getting stronger. Some friends I talked to regularly while others disappeared altogether along with some members of my family. Months would go by without me talking to certain people but as soon as I updated my status on Facebook to say that I would be in town, my phone would ring off the hook. It was at this moment that I analyzed my existing relationships and sought change. I cared about some of the people I lost touch with and made efforts to reestablish those connections immediately. The dynamic of my relationships with people who only called me while I was in town changed dramatically and to this day are not fully restored.

No one has enough time in a day to do everything on his or her wish list. Priorities must be set and preference must be given to the things that truly matter. All that I ask is for you to set aside some time for us to maintain our bond if I really matter and to let me go if I don’t. I am at a point in life that I refuse to waste any time on someone who doesn’t put forth effort into our relationship (friendship, romantic, other). A part of growing up is knowing and understanding that growing apart is a possibility.

Three things of life that are most valuable -
Love, self-confidence & friends. ~Author Unknown

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2 thoughts on “How Distance Redefines Relationships

  1. Most of the failures in distance relationship that I’ve discovered are brought by the hold and see position of the couples themselves. This was made by the insecurity of the couple as they do not consider that the distance relationship will turn but at the one time they do not want to put a stop to the relationship. Let me state you this, if you project to have this kind of attitude, refrain from walking into one at the first place because both you and your partner will hurt in the love and relationship. In a distance relationships, both partners must be committed and activistic in bringing the relationship to a higher level.

  2. Good post. The only issue with long distance relationships is that relationships are 90% non verbal. So you need to interact alot in person. If it’s long distance, it is just a phone relaationship really.

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